So I live by myself. I like living by myself – the only mess that’s around is MY mess. There’s no snoring to keep me awake. I can always have whatever I want for dinner. You know, those kinds of things. The kind of things that really, many of us might be happy to give up for the love and companionship of a good person… But in the meantime, I’ll make the most of the single livin’!
I’m often out and about, but I have to admit – it does sometimes get a little quiet around the house. I have a cat, but she’s not all that great for conversation. What fun is someone who always silently agrees with whatever you say, while simultaneously giving you a very judgmental glare?
So yup, it’s just me and the cat. Sitting around the house. Being quiet. Thinking, mulling. Eating. Sleeping. I’m not surprised it’s gotten to this point – I’ve started talking to things around the house. And of course, they’re always referred to in the masculine gender.
First and foremost, there’s Murray – my big, sexy beast Murray. Every morning when I go get an apple out of the fridge in the garage (no, I haven’t named that yet), I say hello to my bad-ass Murray. He’s the strong, silent type. He never says hi back, but he’s always right there (no judgmental glares). And he literally takes me for a ride almost every day – but in a good way. He always sounds sooooo good – with his sexy Bose sound system. I like a guy who will play good music for me.
I try to take good care of him, but thankfully he’s very forgiving, and hasn’t let me down yet. I may not give him presents as often as I should (I’ve forgotten our anniversary date), but I always have a kind word for him. He’s totally paid for – I OWN his ass. And we have an “understanding” – I can see other guys, when the opportunity presents itself. Pretty good setup, really.
I love you, Murray. Thanks for always being there.
**I’m pretty sure that at this point, I keep the apples in the garage just so I can say hi to Murray every morning. I’m going to sell that fridge soon – even so, I’ll probably keep poking my head in the garage every morning…