a trip to waldbaum’s.

So I says to him, I says, “Arnie, don’t stand like that. It’s bad for your back. What’s all the fuss about anyway?”
But does he listen? He never listens anymore. It used to be that I would say something and Arnie would listen. And sometimes he’d even say something. Did I get more boring? Or did he start to care less? I can’t tell. I guess maybe I might nag him a little more. But when he never listens, I have to say it over and over again…
We’re standing right inside the doors of Waldbaum’s and when I look over at what he’s standing in front of, I see what all the fuss is about. A Starbucks! In our Waldbaum’s! For chrissakes, what will they come up with next. They’ve got the little kiosk set up inside the store but they’re still working on the big plastic sign with that naked lady on it. Looks like they’re having a little trouble securing it to the beam over the kiosk. “Come on Arnie,” I says to him. “that’s too rich for our blood.” One trip to Starbucks’ would undo all the coupon clipping I just did.
 So we’re walking down the canned vegetable aisle. I’m pushing the wagon of course. Arnie dawdles too much by the potted meat. I don’t know why he still likes that stuff. No one eats it anymore. I sigh and walk back to where he’s standing. I look at him. He looks at the can he’s holding, then at me, then puts it back on the shelf. Such attitude from this man.
I hear myself tsking and I go back to the wagon (I left my purse in it, I’ve got to stop doing that). We walk through the rest of the store picking out only what’s on the list. Arnie picks up a few more things that aren’t on the list and looks at me. I’m not even going to say it. Maybe Arnie doesn’t listen because so much of our talking these days is done without words. We just shoot each other looks. He never looks like he loves me anymore.
So we’re standing in line to check out. I make Arnie get the cart ready so’s we can pull our groceries home. I put all the stuff on the conveyor belt and get out my billfold. I keep all the coupons and all the money – if I let Arnie get hold of it – mercy! The things he would come home with from the store. We tried that a few times. It didn’t work.
I put the stuff on the belt and pull out my coupon book. I pay and chat with Alice as she puts our items in our sacks. I tried to get Arnie to do it for her but he says he can’t on account of his back. “Can you at least pull the cart home this time?” I ask him. He gives me a look OK. I’m walking behind Arnie and I’m not really paying attention to what he’s doing because I got to get the change and the coupons back in my billfold and I don’t want my coupons blowing all over the front of the store. There’s a really good one for salad dressing that I almost lose.
“I told you not to stand like that Arnie,” I says to him again. I guess I slowed down too much and I guess I’m not keeping a good enough eye on Arnie. I guess I think he stopped before going out of the store so I can catch up with him. Instead I guess he’s walking back over to Starbuck’s and is actually planning to get a cup of coffee (even though I told him NO) because next thing I know, I hear a big CRASH and I look up and there’s Arnie, smack under the giant Starbuck’s sign that lands square on his personage. At least I could still get to the groceries OK.


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